Column | Les O'Dell: Fostering changes perspectives, transforms lives - The Southern

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Column | Les O'Dell: Fostering changes perspectives, transforms lives - The Southern

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Les covers higher education including Southern Illinois University and the region’s community colleges as well as business news and religion. A three-degree graduate of SIU, he has written for The Southern since 2009, joining the newsroom staff in 2021. Contact him at les.odell@thesouthern.com or 618-351-5036. ​

Byron Hetzler

Les O'Dell

He was a blond, blue-eyed four-year-old who immediately stole our hearts.

Nearly a dozen years ago, he walked into our home and immediately asked, “Where do I put my coat?”

With that, he became one of us.

He was our very first foster son and our lives have never been the same since.

Honestly, before his initial question, I wasn’t completely convinced I wanted to be a foster parent. At that point in life, our son was a student at SIU and our daughter was nearing graduation at Carbondale Community High School.

After years of parent-teacher conferences, messy rooms and everything else which comes with being a parent, did I really want to do it again? Being an empty nester sounded pretty good to me.

But here was this little guy, simply looking for a place to belong, arriving at our house just a few days after we officially were licensed as foster parents — something to which we had taken an unconventional approach.

My wife Christine had been working on her bachelor’s degree for a number of years — a class or two at a time while raising our kids and working full time. There was one class she needed — something about mixing work and family — that just would not fit with her work schedule.

Looking for a creative solution, her academic adviser suggested she take the training class for prospective foster parents and write a paper about it. Being a good husband, I volunteered to attend the multi-session, multi-week class with her.

What we learned in the class broke our hearts. As we heard the stories of neglect and abuse and how individuals or families like ours could make a difference, we began to think, "We could actually do this.”

As the class concluded, we faced a decision: Bow out of the journey having become wiser to the needs of some of the neediest or pursue licensing as foster parents. We chose to be licensed.

Once we passed background checks and our home was approved as a safe place for children, we waited for our license. It came in the mail on a Friday. The following Monday evening that little guy was trying to discover where our family kept our coats.

He was our first placement, but definitely not our last. Not long after he transitioned to another foster family who had ample space for not only him, but his siblings as well, we received other calls.

Best as we can remember, we’ve had the privilege of fostering nearly a dozen children — representing a wide variety of backgrounds, races and ages; some were very temporary in term, maybe just for a weekend or a few days. Others have been for weeks, months or even years. Each one is still in our hearts.

Some of the children were able to return to their biological families thanks to moms and dads who met requirements or standards put in place by the states. Some of the children we placed with other foster families. Three of those who came to us as foster placements are now our sons.

We are blessed to have been able to adopt three very energetic and wonderful little boys. They are now 11, 7 and 4 and all very much part of our family.

Even though we have not had a foster placement in some time, we remain licensed foster parents and we are still involved in fostering. In fact, my wife has established an organization with the sole mission of supporting Southern Illinois foster families in the important role they serve.

We often say that fostering is the hardest, best thing we have ever done and it is absolutely true — as a whole family. Our kids quickly and completely became foster siblings to each placement, never once hesitating to support and to love. As for us, we did not get into foster parenting with the goal of growing our family. We began fostering to simply improve the life of a child, to help them grow, to guide and to love.

We didn’t realize fostering was as much for us as it was for them. Turns out we’ve been on the receiving end as much as we’ve given. Words will never be able to describe the love and growth that has come to us. We encourage others to grow with us.

Les covers higher education as well as business and faith for the paper. A three-degree graduate of SIU, he has written for The Southern since 2009, joining the newsroom staff in 2021. Contact him at les.odell@thesouthern.com or 618-351-5036. 

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2021-05-25 20:04:38Z
https://thesouthern.com/news/local/column-les-odell-fostering-changes-perspectives-transforms-lives/article_ce80028d-cc8b-51a8-8693-e6f133afe5cb.html

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